L J R A N T A G E
This blot comes directly from my Livejournal. I
was just beginning this shrine back then, was starting to muse about him and the game. It's not terribly well written,
but then again, not many of my posts are. But, for all intents and purposes, I hope it's readable.
14 May, 2004 ||
The man has been on my mind for so long now, the fire in me rekindled last night during a spontaneous search for
Castlevania fanfiction. He is an ethereal form in the CV world. So little is known, it's hard to imagine
what may have been his real identity prior to his imprisonment in Walter's castle of hell. His air, aristocratic but young
and impulsive, tells me he belonged to a priviledged family, perhaps one of religious affiliation. I can almost see a
bitter priest behind those lovely, focused violet eyes of his; the Crusades, a time of turmoil and strife for the Church,
might effect displacement of its followers, or most prominent families.
Even if his clothes are those forced on him upon the beginning of his servitude, they still are elegantly worn by a man of
an obviously elite line, his dark and brooding demeanor a resonating part of the hero's hopeless quest.
And of course, there are the fangirls; their approval is not difficult to discern here. From blog to blog and guide to
guide that I visited, the ones written by females feverishly acknowledged his impossible, dream-like beauty. Which is
positively due. Even some male players have admitted his "badass" quality, and their happiness playing as him in
his mode. It's no lie; the man is charismatic, determined and spirited, even if he has ended up on the "wrong" side
of the war against the Night. It is most unfortunate. I could clearly see a union between him and Leon, a brotherhood of the
bat and lion. And a formidable pair they would be. After all, they both harbor an intense hatred for Walter, and in Leon's
case, all that he stands for. I'm sure when my silver-haired love was turned, he was taken violently. His pride, which is
obviously frail, must have faced an unbelievably vicious assault. A sort of rape of his mortal consciousness. An unforgivable
deed.
And that is how I can excuse his bitterness, his hatred of me as the player. His hatred of Leon. It emanates from jealousy.
Envy. It was simple to see that he yearned for his mortal life, but knowing that he could never again taste of it, he was
forever cast into a world of solitude and darkness. But he would be sure to destroy the one who took him before he
completely resigned himself to that fate. And that, I believe, is why we find him in his water prison. Is why he is so angry,
so brattish is his invitations to fight. But so lonely at the same time. So...hapless.
The shonen-ai lover in me can readily eye the possibilities before those two...Joachim and Leon. Like I said, they shared
common motivations. And as kind as Leon is, I could see him being the one to quell Joachim's firey
emotions. I could see him being the young vampire's shoulder to both cry and
bury his beautiful face in. Could see the lion with the tender hand that
wipes the blood-laced tears from the bat's brow...
"This feeling..." Such an all-telling phrase, in my eyes at least.
But why Joachim, why? Why did you have to offer your soul up in that way? It wasn't fair...to you, or any of us out here.
But now, I suppose maybe you've managed to find true peace. May your soul rest eternally. I love you...the most.
